【翻译写作】练习之五原文+汇总，欢迎大家探讨

一个早上要接受这么多坏消息真够人受的。但是我知道比尔和我必须继续我们每天的生活。西翼的工作人员不知所措地走来走去，小声地对着手机嘀咕，关起门来窃 窃私语。向白宫的工作人员保证我们会处理这次危机，并准备像以前那样反击，这很重要。我知道所有人都会以我为榜样去做。对我和周围的人来说最有利的做法就 是稳步前进。我本来可以花更多时间为我的第一次露面作准备，但不行。那天下午，按照计划我要去古彻学院发表一次有关民权的演讲，这是应我们的老朋友泰勒. 布兰奇的邀请。因为我不想让学院或者泰勒——他的妻子就为我工作——失望，我赶到联合车站，搭上了去巴尔的摩的火车。

原文：

This was a lot of bad news to absorb in one morning. But I knew that both Bill and I

had to carry on with our daily routines. Aides in the West Wing were walking around in a

daze, muttering into their cell phones and whispering behind closed doors. It was important to reassure the White House staff that we would deal with this crisis and be prepared to fight back, just as we had in the past. I knew that everyone would be looking to me for their cues. The best thing I could do for myself and those around me was to forge ahead. I could have used more time to prepare for my first public appearance, but that was not to be. That afternoon, I was scheduled to give a speech on civil rights to a large gathering at Goucher College at the invitation of our old friend Taylor Branch, author of a Pulitzer Prize-winning book on Martin Luther King, Parting the Waters. Since I was not about to let down the college or Taylor, whose wife, Christy Macy, worked for me, I headed to Union Station and caught a train to Baltimore.

(note: 灰的highlighted地方是我找得那个节选中文译文里没有的)。

这次翻译分歧比较多，俺想说两句俺对咱们这个写作翻译的一点philosophy。

I couldn’t care less about the translation of 名词和专有名词。我看大家的翻译的时候想看的是句法和结构----句子的骨架，给大家评论的时候想尽量（tell you something you didn’t notice or something you couldn’t find out from the original text, or something that you can’t figure out by looking at the original）. 你能从字典查到，或者google到的东东，我不想underestimate you，告诉你民权是civil rights，联合车站是union station，因为你一看译文就知道了，我告诉你不太condescending吗？ 而且我们翻译的目的不是翻译，在现实生活中，我们已经在美国，比方你跟大家说那天下午有个客座教授应你的邀请来你的学校演讲，你就可以说：That afternoon, Prof 牛 was scheduled to give a speech on ­­­xx（你熟悉的一个不是要从中文译成英文的topic） to a large gathering at 你学校 at my invitation. 就象900句一样，这是basic pattern，我个人觉得大家是应该来学习这个的，不是来学习专有名词词汇的。

Chinglish的主要表现也不是因为你名词用词，主要是结构或对动词的理解受中文影响。

比如tern2（不是要put you on the spot，tern2美眉，是因为这个太典型）里那个 I slept very early last night. 我在那个帖子里提到了，怕大家没看到：sleep是个持续性的动作，而时间用的是昨天晚上very early是一个时间点: at an early time/moment of last night. 所以就不行了，时间点要和瞬间性动作一起，所以用went to bed或者went to sleep, 从醒着到睡着的瞬间性动作。这个为啥是Chinglish呢？因为中文里“睡觉”不区分“go to bed”（瞬间动作）和“sleep”（延续性动作）。这个Native speaker也可能只会告诉你I sleep very early last night不是good English，但是他不理解你为啥会这样说。只有上过一点语言学课和Second Language Acquisition肥教授我知道，咔咔。这个很象是纠语法，不需要知道，但是我是想教给大家怎么当内行看门道，不是当外行看热闹，被人几句话就唬住了。3151mm和DCH修改得时候说这个slept用得不对，这就是英语语感好，功底扎实，我搭眼一看就看得出来（这样说挺arrogant的哈，但是这样能唬人哈）。另外推荐大家查这个我最近发现的句典, 多查一查就知道一个词常用不常用，在什么语境用了。

http://www.jukuu.com/search.php?q=aimlessly

砖模：愚公，先给你块糖：看得出愚公功底很扎实。再来砖头：

It was a terrible mornig to receive a lot of bad news.（乍一看我想这句翻得比我好，用了a lot of，但是第二眼看不行了，it 指代“to receive a lot of bad news”吧？你把它代回去，成了：To receive a lot of bad news was a terrible morning!）  But I knew Bill and I had to keep our daily life going.  Not knowing what to do, the staffs at the West Wing were idling（idle做动词我觉得好像不太常见）, or whisperring to their cell phone, or chatting behind doors.  It was very important to ensure（跟我用得一样，不对，ensure后面加名词或that从句: http://www.learnersdictionary.com/search/ensure

意思是确保，）， the staffs at (the, 怎么每周听Meet the Press还犯这个错误？该抽！)white house that we would deal with the crisis and prepare to fight back as before.  I knew that everyone would follow me.  The best way in the our favor was to move forward steadily.  I wished I could spend more time  in (on or nothing) preparing my first exposure(不恰当，感觉Hilary要当暴露狂，咔咔。想想词根expose).  In the afternoon, I had to give a presentation about civil rights at 古彻 Institute, which was reqeusted by our old friend, Tylor.  I rushed to the Station Union（这个愚公受法语影响比较深？哈哈） and took a train to Baltimore for I did not want to dispoint the institue or Tylor.（这个放到后面坏处是和上一句衔接不好了）

关于Institute，我和愚公一样，在不知道这个学校的情况下，学院翻成institute更接近。有人说institute是美国专科学校的统称，我澄清一下：想想MIT的I就该明白了。

Newvoice：

It was too much for me to hear so many bad news that morning. But I knew that Bill and I must go on with our daily life. The employees in the West Wing was going back and forth purposelessly(这个感觉不如aimlessly常用), whispering on their cell phones, and murmuring behind the doors. We promised the employees at the White House that we would deal with the crisis and fought  back as we had done before, it was very important(run-on sentence here, either change , to ; or . or “it” to “which”). I knew that I would set an example for other people. The most effective approach for us was to move forward steadily. I might have spent more time to prepare(preparing, or on preparing) for my first appearance, but I could not. I wanted to go to Gucher College to make a speech on human rights issue that afternoon according to our plan, and I was invited by my old friend - Taylor Blanche. Since I did not want to disappoint the college, Taylor and his wife（这个中文给看错了）, I rushed to the United Station and boarded the train to Baltimore. 新声音太谦虚，你翻得非常好。

学英语3151：

It was difficult to get so many bad news in just one morning. However I knew that life had to go on for Bill and I. The staff in the west wing wandered around aimlessly（同词兄, 被人批评，但是我觉得用得很好，看这个： http://www.jukuu.com/search.php?q=aimlessly，问了native speaker也说没问题）

, whispered carefully to the cell phones or grumbled behind the closed doors. It was critical to assure the white house staff that we were able to handle the crisis and prepared to fight back as before and I knew everyone would follow my example. To me as well as the people around me, the best way to handle this was to make progress steadily. Even though I should have （需要个动词here）more time to prepare for my first public appearance after the crisis, I could not do that because as planned, I had to go to 古彻 college to make a speech about human rights which was invited by Taylor, our old friend, and I did not want to disappoint古彻 college or Taylor (whose wife worked for me)(这一句太长，包含内容太多). So I got to the train station and on the train to Baltimore（我觉得你是想省略got，因为前面有，但是感觉不行）.

Cutestream：

It was really bitter that so many bad news came out in one morning. But I knew Bill and I had to keep our life going. Workers in XIYI were walking around in bewilderment, whispering on their cell phones, and talking in secret with their offices’ door shut. We promised to people in the White House that we would handle this crisis well, and were preparing to fight back like before, which was important. I knew all of them would do things as I did. For me and people around, the advantageous way was to steer a steady course（这个用得好）. I should have had spent more time for my first-time showing up, but I had not（这个had not有点怪，没表达出来不能的意思）. Invited by our old friend Taylor, I was going to give a talk about people’s right that afternoon in the college of GUCHE as planned.  For I did not want to disappoint the college and Taylor- whose wife was working（这个没必要用进行时） for me, I went to the Union train Station, and took the train to Baltimore,

Toast2011:

It was not easy to receive so many bad news in one morning. But I knew bill and I must continue our daily life as usual. Staff in the west wing, either walked back and forth nervously, whispered through the cell phone or talked to people having （with ）their office door closed.  We promised our colleagues in White House that we would handle this crisis and would response back like we did before. This is very important. I know all people would act as I do(时态没注意好). The most beneficial way for me and people around was to make steady progress. Actually, I could have spent more time to be （get）ready for my first show up to the public after this, but I cannot（时态）. At our old friend Taylor Blancher’s invitation, I had planned to go Goucher College to have （give）a presentation about civil right that afternoon. Because I did not want to disappoint either the college or Mr. Taylor whose wife works for me, I arrived at union station and got on a train to Baltimore.

非文学青年：

To receive so many pieces of bad news within one morning was more than I could handle. But I knew Bill and I must continue our everyday life. The West Wing staff members were wandering aimlessly, whispering on the phone, or talking behind closed doors. It was of great importance to ensure the White House staff that we would deal this crisis and plan on fighting back like before. I knew all of them would follow my lead.  For me and those around me, the solution to our best advantage is to make steady progress. I could have spent some more time preparing my first public appearance, but I couldn’t. That afternoon, I was scheduled to give a speech on civil rights at Gouche? Institute, at our old friend Tyler Blanche’s invitation. As I didn’t want to disappoint the institute or Tyler, whose wife worked for me, I rushed to the Union Station and boarded on the train to Baltimore.

newton123

It was unbearable to get so much bad news in one single morning. But I knew Bill and I had to go through our daily life. The staff members in the west wing seemed at a loss, walking back and forth, or talking to the cell phones in a subdued voice, or whispering to one another in the office with door being closely shut. It became vital to assure the staff in the White House that we were able to handle the crisis and prepared for a counter attack. I was aware that all would follow my footprint. The best policy for me and my people was to make steady progress. I should have spent more time for my first show, but it turned out completely impossible. According to my schedule, that afternoon I should give a speech about citizenship in Goutier College, a response of an invitation from our old friend Taylor Branch. For I had no intention to disappoint the college or Taylor himself—his wife was working for me then, I rushed to the Union Station, catching the train to Baltimore.  

金迷

To take this many bad news in one morning is really tough, but Bill and I know, we have to continue our daily life. HIGIE's employee either wondering around, talking to cells phone under breath, or chatting behind a door. It is import for us, to assure White House we will deal with this crisis, just as always, we will fight back. To me and people arround me, the best thing we can do is moving forward steadily, and I know all other will mode me. I wish I could spend more time on my first showup, but I can't. According to my schedule, this afternoon I will be giving a speech about civil liberties in GUCHE college; I invited by my old friend, Taylor Branchie. I don't want to disappoint the college or Taylor -- his wife works for me, I rushed to UNION station, and took the train to Barldemore.

美风

    It was hard to accept so many bad news for a whole morning. But I knew that Bill and I had to keep our daily life going. The personnel in West Wing had to walk back and forth whithout knowing what to do, or whispered over cell phones, or gossipped indoors. To guarantee the White House personnel that we would deal with the crisis, and we were ready to fight back as usual, it was very important. I knew that everybody would going to do in my way. To me and the people around us, the best way was to go ahead steadily. I would had been spending more time to prepare for my first appearance, but it was not feasible. That afternoon, I had to go to Gucher college for a speech on Civil Right. It was for my old friend Taylor Blanch's invitation. But I would not like the college or Taylor-his wife had been working for me--to be disappointed, I hurried to the Union Station, and hitchhiked the train to Baltimore.

白不八广播电台_

So much bad news in one morning was very hard to swallow, but I knew, for Bill and me,life must go on. The staff from the West Wing were all pacing back and forth, calling on their cell phones constantly, or talking behind the doors with lowered voices. It was critical to reassure the White House that we take care of this crisis, and we fight back like we had done in the past. I knew everyone would take me as a role model. The best thing to do for me or anybody was to take our time. I should have prepared more for our debut, but I couldn't. In the afternoon I went to give a talk at Goucher College on civil rights, invited by my old friend Taylor Blanchet.  Because I didn't want to disappoint Goucher College, or Taylor -- whose wife worked for me, I rushed to the Union Station and jumped on a train to Baldimore.

cloudhk

It was really hard to take so much bad news in one morning. However,  I knew Bill and I have to carry on our routine life. Staffs of the west wing unintentionally walked here and there, muttering to cell phones, whispering behind doors. It is quite important to promise for staffs in White House  that we can handle this crisis and respond it just like before. I know everyone would treat me as a model. The best way for me and people around me is moving on.  I was supposed to spend more time on my first public appearance, which seems not realistic any more. That day I was supposed to make a speech about civil rights in Gucci College, which was asked by our old friends, Taylor Bronchi. Since I did not plan to disappoint the faculty and Taylor, his wife working for me, I went to the United Station and took a train to Baltimore.