周末一笑: 服药时间(转载)
文章来源: 南山松2016-03-25 15:58:11

1 服药时间/Medicine Time   

The vet prescribed daily tablets for our geriatric cat, Tigger, and after several battles my husband devised a way to give her the medication. It involved wrapping Tigger in a towel, trapping her between his knees, forcing her mouth open and depositing the pill on the back of her tongue.

David was proud of his resourcefulness until one hectic session when he lost control of both cat and medicine. Tigger leaped out of his grasp, paused to inspect the tablet—which had rolled across the floor—and then ate it.

兽医为我们老年的猫跳跳虎开了每天吃的药片,经过几次搏斗,我丈夫想出了一个办法给她用药。它包括用毛巾包住跳跳虎,把她控制在他的膝盖之间,迫使她张开嘴,把药片放在她的舌头的后部。

大卫为他的足智多谋感到骄傲,直到一个忙乱的时刻,他对猫和药片都失去了控制。跳跳虎从他的掌握中跳走,停下来发现了滚过地板的药片,然后把它吃掉了。

2 省钱/Money Saver   

Each morning at 5:30, I take my Lhasa Apso, Maxwell, for a walk. He has the bad habit of picking up bits of paper or other trash along the way. When he does, I command him to “drop it,” and he usually complies.

One morning, though, he absolutely refused to drop a piece of litter. So I told him to “sit” and then approached him to see what his treasure was. It was a $10 bill.    

每天早晨5:30,我带着我的拉萨犬麦克斯韦去散步。他有一个一路上捡纸片或其他垃圾的坏习惯。当他这样做时,我命令他“扔掉”,它通常听从我的。

然而一天早晨,他坚决拒绝扔掉一片垃圾。于是我命令他“坐下”,然后走近他,看看他有什么宝贝了。那是一张10美元的钞票。

3 歌剧演唱家/Opera Singer   

Our cat, Figaro, comes home between 10 or 11 at night to eat. If he’s late, I turn on the carport light and call him until he appears.

One day my daughter was explaining to a friend where we live, and her friend said, "Is that anywhere near the house where the woman stands on her steps late at night and sings opera?"    

我们的猫费加罗报,在晚上10到11之间的回家吃饭。如果他回来晚了,我就打开车库的灯叫他,直到他出现。

有一天我的女儿跟她的朋友解释我们住的地方,她的朋友说:“是在那个房子附近的地方在深夜有个妇女站在台阶上唱京剧吗?”

4 惊慌的狗/Scared Dog   

A friend of mine is a deputy with the sheriff’s department canine division. One evening, the deputy was dispatched to the scene of a possible burglary, where he discovered the back door of a building ajar. He let the dog out of his patrol car and commanded it to enter and seek.

Jumping from the back seat, the dog headed for the building. After lunging through the doorway, the dog froze and backed out. My friend was puzzled until he investigated further. Then he noticed the sign on the building: “Veterinarian’s Office.”   

我的一个朋友是治安部门的警犬部的警官。一天晚上,警官被派往一个可能的入室盗窃的现场,在那里他发现了一个建筑物半掩的后门。他让狗从他的巡逻车出来,并命令它进去搜查。

从后座跃起,狗进了建筑。在他从门口冲刺后,狗愣住了并退了出去。我的朋友很困惑,直到他进一步调查。然后,他注意到建筑物上的牌子:“兽医办公室。”

5 惊慌的狗/Scared Dog   

My sister-in-law, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, "He doesn’t like men."

Perfect, my sister-in-law thought, and took the dog.

Then one day she was approached by two men in a parking lot, and she watched to see how her canine bodyguard would react. Soon it became clear that the trainer wasn’t kidding. As the men got closer, the dog ran under the nearest car. 

我的嫂子,一名卡车司机,决定找一条狗做护卫。当她考察了一个可能的候选狗时,训练员告诉她,“他不喜欢男人。”

太好了,我嫂子想,就要了那条狗。

后来有一天在停车场有两名男子向她走近,她看她的保镖犬会如何反应。很快就清楚了训练员不是在开玩笑。当男子走近时,狗跑到了最近的一辆车的底下。

6 狗的职责/Dog Duties   

Once while riding the bus to work, I noticed a man at a stop enjoying a cup of coffee. As we approached the stop, he finished drinking and set the cup on the ground. This negligence surprised me, since it seemed to be a good ceramic cup.

Days later I saw the same man again drinking his coffee at the bus stop. Once again, he placed the cup on the grass before boarding. When the bus pulled away, I looked back in time to see a dog carefully carrying the cup in his mouth as he headed for home.     

有一次乘坐公共汽车上班时,我注意到一个人在车站享受着一杯咖啡。当我们走近车站时,他喝完把杯子放在地上。这个疏忽让我感到惊讶,因为看上去那是一个很不错的陶瓷杯。

几天后,我看到了同样的人在公共汽车站再次喝着咖啡。再一次,他在上车前把杯子放在草地上。当公交车开走,我及时地回头看到一只狗仔细地用嘴叼住杯子回家去了。