A personal tradition was born after dad died on Apr 9 2020 and I chose not to go

back to China(well, not yet). Fasting was a response out of guilt and despair: I

could do nothing for you and let me repent in suffering. In the blue funk that

followed, I decided to do it more often. For two days, I would eat nothing

around the New Year, the QingMing festival, and my birthday. Fasting on these

days feels natural and so far, I have been observing the ritual. 

Looking back at the path I took through life, I was amazed at how many decisions

seemed made on a hunch: choosing a college, switching to a computer major,

coming to America, my health awakening, etc. The gut feelings had to come from

somewhere. It was as if I were guided by invisible forces and my life was

pre-programmed to a large degree.

This year's QingMing came during Lent, a period observed by many Christians to

remember Jesus's 40 day fast. My own fast started Friday evening. I trained

Jiu-Jitsu on Saturday and came back to Fremont for the next 24 hours. The second

night felt better than that of the last fast in Dec 2021: with an empty stomach,

I still got a few naps. My mind was a little foggy the next morning. After warmup

exercises, I skipped weight-lifting and went for coffee at Peet's. Around noon,

I went to the river bank for a walk.

It was a balmy day and the air was fresh and sweet. A film of clouds bleached

the April sky. The hills had traded in their lush green winter coat for a golden

jacket. From the bay blowed a gentle breeze, enough to lift the giant eagles

cruising high. Few joggers or walkers but plenty of cyclists got on the trail.

Many were friendly and smiled and said hi. Compared with most of the rest of the

world, what a luxury we have here. The protest from my stomach had abated and my

muscles and joints had recovered from exercises. It felt so pleasant that I 

spent almost two hours outdoors.

I suspect that fasting becomes easier with age. This round, it didn't take much 

effort to keep my mind off from food. In two days, I had two cups of black

coffee and two cups of green tea. At 6:00pm, I broke the fast with two mangoes

and one banana, followed by a feast of almonds, spinich, beef, dates, liquor,

two popsicles, and some chocolates. Over-eating led to another so-so sleep.