1. Keep the dream alive. Turn off the alarm.

2. If you don't sin, then Jesus died for nothing. 

3. When opportunity knocks, don't bitch about the noise.

4. Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. 

5. If no one listens to you, fart. 

6. To be drunk is to feel eloquent but not able to prove it.

7. Never underestimate the power of idiots in large groups, vote!

8. If you meet assholes all the time, you are the asshole. 

9. I never curse until I started playing golf.

10. Delay No More!