40hutu

February 14, 2008
By Joel Durham Jr.

Dear AMD,

We used to be so good together.

You used to sit beside me, your powerful Athlon caressing my system's motherboard and lovingly driving our way through games, through photo retouching, through home movie editing…oh, all the things we did together! We even let ATI into our relationship, and it was wonderful.

We developed such a strong bond through your initial 64-bit CPU efforts; they were so kind to 32-bit operating systems and yet so ready for the future! I left my longtime lover, Intel, for you as she struggled to bridge the gap between 32- and 64-bit computing. You were so fresh and affordable! You were so passionate and reliable!

Oh, I know you hate it when I mention Intel. It's a sore subject between us since I left you and went back to her. That was nearly a year ago, but you and I have kept in touch. I've maintained an open mind. I know I'm a fickle person, but let's face it: You dropped the ball on our relationship, and when I was in need, Intel was there for me.

Oh, how you must hate Core 2. And though it must hurt you to hear this, I love it. It has so much to offer, and it's so cool. Maybe you and I just got a little too hot together, but the past is the past, and we can't change it. I'm happy with my Intel quad core, even though you make a valid point about it not being true quad. Hey, it gives me everything I need and more; Core 2 Extreme and I are great together.

I've been keeping an eye on you. I'm always open to second chances, and when you announced Phenom you really got me rethinking our relationship. I was interested; I was excited. You were finally ready to leave that whole Athlon thing behind and look to the future, and I was, like, totally with you on that.

So what happened?

Oh yes, I did give you another chance. We snuggled together for a while, you and me, on your supposedly superior Spider platform. I took it all in, the 790X chipset, the ATI Radeon HD 3870 graphics, and your most powerful Phenom processor. We had some fun, we played some games, but something just wasn't right.

Maybe it was when I tried pushing you, and your Phenom 9600, a little farther, and you just wouldn't give. Maybe it was that Radeon, which was equally stubborn. I don't know.

Intel was very patient with me when you and I gave it another try. She was there, she was strong, she was quiet, and she was cool. She didn't care whether I brought along ATI or Nvidia, either, as part of our platform together. And let's face it: Nvidia has been a little bit more aggressive than your own ATI in terms of my favorite pastime, playing games.

Metaphorically, is that what you're doing with me? Playing games? Making promises, but then only giving a half-assed effort to keep them? You know I'm always open to new things, so you never fail to tempt me with your big talk. But when it comes down to it, you just haven't been able to make me happy.

Isn't that what you want for me? To be happy?

Look, AMD, I'm going to lay it all on the line. Intel and I are very satisfied with each other, but I'm in this for one person: myself. Intel understands that. She forges ahead, as does Nvidia, while you and ATI just kind of, well…you don't seem willing to take charge like you used to. You might have lost the will to compete. You might have gotten lazy when you were the dominant one and tried to coast on your rep. Well, reputation only goes so far. You know I hate clichés, but as they say, if you talk the talk you gotta walk the walk. You've been crawling.

Now the good news: I'm still here for you. You and I can definitely stay in touch, and I'll keep tabs on all your new developments. It isn't easy writing negative things about you; it's not fun to have to tell people to avoid you. I'd rather give the world a grand choice between two glorious competitors; but I have to be honest with my readers and right now, I just cannot advise them to hang with you. I am, however, always willing to change that, as long as you are.

When you're ready to get serious, I'll be there. Until then, we'll just be friends.