chenm

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU'RE IN LOVE, IN LUST OR REALLY MARRIED?

LOVE--When your eyes meet across a crowded room.

LUST--When your tongues meet across a crowded room.

MARRIAGE--When you lose your child in a crowded room.

LOVE--When intercourse is called "making love."

LUST--When intercourse is called "screwing."

MARRIAGE--What the hell are you talking about?

LOVE--When you argue over how many children to have.

LUST--When you argue over who gets the wet spot.

MARRIAGE--When you argue over money.

LOVE--When you share everything you own.

LUST--When you steal everything your partner owns.

MARRIAGE--When the bank owns everything.

LOVE--When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.

LUST--The relationship is over if you don't climax.

MARRIAGE--What's a climax?

LOVE--When you phone each other just to say, "Hi."

LUST--When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.

MARRIAGE--When you phone each other to complain.

LOVE--When you write poems about your partner.

LUST--When all you write is your phone number.

MARRIAGE--When all you write is checks.

LOVE--When you show real concern for your partner's feelings.

LUST--When you really couldn't give a damn.

MARRIAGE--When your only real concern is what's on TV.

LOVE--When your farewell is "I love you, darling ..."

LUST--When your farewell is "So, same time next week ..."

MARRIAGE--When your farewell is a relief.

LOVE--When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.

LUST--When you only see each other naked.

MARRIAGE--When you never see each other awake.

LOVE--When your heart flutters every time you see your partner.

LUST--When your groin twitches every time you see your partner.

MARRIAGE--When your wallet empties every time you see your partner.

LOVE--When nobody else matters.

LUST--When nobody else knows.

MARRIAGE--When everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.

LOVE--When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.

LUST--When the song on the radio determines how you do it.

MARRIAGE--When you listen to talk radio.

LOVE--When breaking up is something you try not to think about.

LUST--When staying together is something you try not to think about.

MARRIAGE--When just getting through today is your only thought.

LOVE--When you're only interested in doing things with your partner.

LUST--When you're only interested in doing things to your partner.

MARRIAGE--When you're only interested in your golf score.