伟丽-拥抱女性自我

我是天蝎座，果断、勇敢、忠诚和诚实。

他是狮子座，11岁，我的儿子，傲慢、固执、不能接受批评。

昨天我们吵了一架。他的态度真的很让我生气。当他开始大声喊叫时，我也高声地回复：“我不会容忍这个家里有任何不尊重的行为。”

“我没有不尊重你！！” 他更大声地尖叫，开始哭泣，双脚蹦起来。

这让我更加愤怒。

自两周前回到家，我们就没有离开过。昨天，我发现驾照不见了，到处找，几个小时里，翻了抽屉，检查了包，渐渐的我越来越烦躁不安。

接着去车里继续找。结果一看，就生气了：他总是不兑现承诺。我们是一个喜欢旅行的家庭。每次旅行结束后，每个人都有各自的责任。他的责任是从后座拿走东西并吸尘。这是我们唯一要求他做的事情。显然他没有做。

今天凌晨4点醒来，我依然感到烦躁。喝着加了新鲜柠檬汁的温水，想起了他去年圣诞节送我的戒指。一个月没戴它了，一个星形的、五颜六色的花戒指，太大了，可以覆盖我的整个无名指。这是我们参观威尼斯的玻璃吹制工厂时，他送我的一个惊喜。

戴上它的时候，我许下了自己的愿望：“请帮助我找到与登登联接的方法。”

躺在冥想室里，盖着的毯子感觉如此柔软舒适，但我找不到一个舒服的姿势来放松。创伤会留在我们的身体里，我依旧感觉得到昨天争吵的紧张和不安。是什么让我失去了耐心？肯定不是他。

我选择了“心灵平静”的冥想。

【首先，把所有的忧虑和担忧都放进一个盒子里，然后送走它们。】

我把那场争吵放进了盒子里。

但这个想法一直留在我的脑海里。我坚持跟随引导词冥想。渐渐地，所有的激动开始消失，我发现自己变得平静了。

【呼出所有旧的空气，吸入新鲜空气，开始新的一天。】

我深深吸气，长长呼气。

【寻求一个指路灯塔，想象你需要看见的东西。】

就在那一刻，我的脑海中出现了“投降并放手”这些话。

突然又冒出了检查袋子的想法，这次我没有不安。

早上5点15分，从冥想中起身，我走到了洗衣房。Vera Bradley的花卉手提包仍然挂在第一个钩子上，就是昨天我检查了所有口袋后放在那里的。我再次深呼吸，开始搜寻每一个口袋。

外面的口袋没有。

里面有六个口袋。没有、没有、没有、没有、没有……每个"没有"都让我感到失望。然后在最后一个口袋里，我的钱包和驾照就在那里！

找到驾照让我想起了Ester Hicks在一次演讲中分享的故事。有一天，她找不到心爱的项链，到处都找过了。几周后，她还是不快乐，以为失去了它。然后某一天，在一个翻过十几次的袋子里，找到了项链。Ester讲这个故事是为了说明当我们处于低频时，根本看不见眼前的事物。

为什么我会处于这样的低频呢？肯定不是登登的错。他的行为只是我内心痛苦状态的启动按钮。

我相信没有什么值得让自己失去快乐，所以用尽所有力量来保护我的快乐。

如果一直引燃你的人是你的儿子呢？怎么能摆脱这种状态？我是否想要躲避它？与其逃避，难道不应该去解决它吗？

登登几个月前刚过完11岁的生日。他是一个非常好的孩子！阳光灿烂，可以照亮整个家。

但他也会欺骗和撒谎，尽一切可能获得玩游戏的机会。

他在家里做很多家务。每天洗碗，为全家洗衣服，收邮件，倒垃圾，还帮忙洗车，整理花园。

他做这些事情是为了得到积分，这样他就可以玩他心爱的游戏。但我还能期望一个决定在游戏行业成就一生的男孩做什么呢？

他是一个狮子座。

他慷慨又有胸怀、他超级自信、他坚定不移，是一位天生的领袖。这些是登登拥有的天然优势。

当我们陷入低频（紧张、焦虑、烦躁）时，经常会迷失。

昨天我就是如此。

当我处于低频时，只关注他的弱点，忘记了他的另一面。

“他是一束快乐之光。伟丽，不要让他的光芒黯淡。”就在两周前与美丽的菲利普斯姐姐见面时，这位烈焰女神友善地表达了她的观察。

戴着星形花环的大戒指，我微笑着向宇宙表达了我的愿望。

“愿无尽的爱与我同在。我爱你，登登，我的儿子。无论你是谁，做什么，我都爱你。这是我们的灵魂契约，我决心完成我的使命！我很感激你选择我做你的妈妈，你一直是我生命中最伟大的老师。有些日子我会立刻学到教训，有些日子我需要去寻找应该要做什么。既然你选择了我做你的妈妈，那么我就是这份职责的合适人选。我愿意为此终身奉献！爱可以战胜一切。”

我找到了驾驶执照，

坐在内心平静的位置上，

系好安全带,让我们开心地出发吧！

传递给大家满满的爱

伟丽

I am a Scorpio. Determined, Brave, Loyal and Honest.

He is a Leo. Arrogant, Stubborn, Inability to accept criticism.

Yesterday we had a huge fight. His attitude really annoyed me. When he started to yell, I yelled louder. “I am not going to tolerate any disrespect in this house.”

“I am not being disrespectful!!” He screamed louder, started to cry, jumping on both feet.

This made me even angrier.

We haven’t left home ever since we got back two weeks ago. Yesterday, I couldn’t find my driver’s license. I looked everywhere. For hours, I cleaned the drawers, checked bags and got more and more agitated as the hours went by.

I went to the car to continue my searching. After taking one look, I got angry: He always promises and doesn’t deliver. We are a family of travelers. Everyone has their responsibilities after each trip. His is to pick up things from the back seat and vacuum. That is the only thing that we ask of him.

This morning, I woke up at 4:00 am. Still feeling agitated.

Sipping warm water with some freshly squeezed lemon, I remembered the ring that he bought me last Christmas. I haven’t worn it for a month. A star-shaped, multi-colored flower ring. It is so big, it covers my entire ring finger. It was a surprise present he bought for me in Venice when we visited the glass blowing factory.

While putting it on, I express my desire, “Please help me to find ways to connect with Norden.”

Lying down on the floor in my meditation room, the blanket gifted to me feels silky and soft but I can’t find a comfortable position to relax.

Our body carries traumas energetically. I still can feel the tension and discomfort of yesterday’s fight. What caused me to lose my temper? It certainly wasn’t him.

I chose a mediation called “Centered Calm”. First, it asked me to put all the worries and concerns in a box and send it away. I put that fight in the box. But the thought kept on drifting back. I persisted, followed the guided meditation. Gradually all the agitation started to die down and I found myself becoming peaceful. “Let go of all the old air that has already been used, take some fresh air in and start a new day.” I inhaled deeply and exhaled for a long time. “Ask for a guidepost, to show you something that you need to see”. Just at that moment, the words “Surrender and let go” came to me.

The thought of checking the bags again just popped in. This time, no agitation.

5:15 am, I got up from the mediation and went to the laundry room. The Vera Bradley flower tote bag still hangs on the first hook, exactly where I left it yesterday after checking all pockets. I take another deep breath, here we go.

I start to search in each pocket.

Outside pocket, no.

Inside there are six pockets. No, No, No, No, No... as with each no, I feel the disappointment again. Then in the very last pocket, as I reach down deep and my wallet is there with my driver’s license!

Finding my driver’s license reminded me of a story that Ester Hicks shared in one of her talks. One day she couldn’t find her beloved necklace. She looked everywhere. For weeks, she was so unhappy, thinking that she lost it. Then one day, she went back to the same bag that she had searched a dozen times and the necklace was just laying there. Ester tells this story to show that when we are at a low frequency, we can’t see what is right in front of us.

Why was I at such a low frequency? It certainly was not Norden’s fault. His behavior was only the trigger for my suffering inner state.

I believe nothing is worth losing my happiness over so I guard my happiness with all my forces.

I don’t watch the news. There has not been a sound from our TV for decades. I have selected my peer group very carefully. I eat healthily. I exercise.

But what if the person who triggers you continuously is your son? How could you possibly get away from that? Or do I want to? Instead of getting away, shouldn’t I be leaning in to solve it?

Norden just turned 11 years old a few months ago. And he is a beautiful child. He has a sunny personality that will light up the whole room.

But he also will cheat and lie, willing to do anything to get to his video games.

He does many chores at home. He washes dishes every night. He does the laundry for the entire household. He gets the mail in and takes the trash out. He helps wash the cars and takes care of the garden.

Yes, he does all these to get points so he can play his beloved games. But what else should I expect from a young boy, who has decided his lifetime achievement would be in the gaming industry?

Yes, he is a Leo.

He is Generous and Big-hearted. He is super Confident. He is Determined and he is a Natural Leader. These are the Key Strengths that Norden possesses.

When we get into a low frequency (stressed, anxious, agitated), often we are lost.

That was me, yesterday.

When I was at a low frequency, all I was focusing on were his weaknesses, forgetting there is another side of him.

“He is a bundle of Joy. WeiLi, don’t dim his light.” After meeting him two weeks ago, my beautiful sister, Phyllis, Goddess of Fire kindly offered her observation.

With the big star-shaped flower ring on my finger, I smiled and expressed my desire to the universe.

“May the force be with me. I love you Nor, my son. No matter who you are and what you do, I am here to love you. That is our soul contract and I am determined to fulfill my end of it! I am thankful that you chose me to be your mommy. You have by far been the biggest teacher in my life. Some days I will get the lessons right away and some days I will need to search for what the lesson is supposed to be. Since you chose me to be your mom, then I am the right one for this job. And I am willing to accept it for a lifetime! Love can conquer anything.”

I was able to find my driver’s license.

I am in the Centered Calm seat.

Buckle up. Let’s have a fun ride!

Love,

WeiLi