正文
You might be a soccer parent if....
1. You have owned every style of camping chair ever made.
2. You have never met a linesman that knows how to call off-sides properly.
3. Your kid takes a bloody wallop on the nose, and your first thought is that he/she needs to quit crying or be subbed because we're running out of time in the game.
4. You know where every elementary school, jr. high, high school, college and park with a soccer field is in the bay area and you know where the closest Starbucks, bagel shop and Subway is to each of those fields
5. You know how to get to all of the above without getting lost
6. Your gas credit card bills are bigger than your 2nd mortgage
7. All of your vacation time is taken up by soccer events. No more beach vacations, unless your team gets invited to Surf Cup. No more ski vacations ever again!
8. You know the closest grocery store to the practice fields because that is where you do your shopping
9. You have seen all kinds of movies between tournament games that you would have never watched otherwise.
10. There are posters of Englishmen and Brazilians in your house
11. You've forgotten where you go to church.
12. Your child's "good shoes" are his newest soccer cleats
13. You and your spouse spend all weekend driving to soccer games in different cars, in different counties, with different kids. And talk on the cell phone only to compare scores. And don't see each other until Sunday night.
14. You are happy to spend $140 on soccer cleats, but are appalled when the materials for your child's science fair project cost $45.
15. The kids on your team are 'feisty', while the kids on the opposing team are 'dirty'.
16. The mats on your car's rear floor are never free of dried grass and black turf pebbles.
17. You as soccer parents have a strict rule about "no removing shin guards inside of the car “Phew”
18. You look forward to Monday so that you can go back to work/school and relax.
19. You have not celebrated your anniversary for 3 years because it always falls on a practice or game day.
20. You own a 2-year-old SUV with 182,000 original miles.
21. On the rare weekend when your child does not have a game you look for something soccer related to do like going to the games of your friend's children.
22. You begin to use words like football, pitch, boots, sides, fixtures and tables in a way that totally befuddles your non-soccer friends and family
23. Your closest friends are those that you've met through soccer.
24. You can recognize the most national team jerseys and the majority of major European club jerseys on sight
25. You go from an 8 to a 22 handicap in four years and you have not been invited to a golf scramble in the last two years because everyone knows you got no game anymore!!
26. While watching the documentary "Supersize Me", you and the wife realize you have come close to duplicating that diet during consecutive weekends with tournaments.
27. When you receive at least three copies of the "Eurosport" catalogue in the mail each week.
28. When you wish you had bought stock in igloo because you own every shape & size of cooler and water bottle.
29. When someone asks you how old your child is, you respond, "She's U10"
30. You drive home from the game complaining bitterly about the condition of the field and its adverse effect on your kid's game only to pull into your driveway and have your spouse point out the 14 inch high grass which has not been mowed in 2 weeks.
31. You talk about "the Oaks" like it's your country club.
32. Your co-workers avoid having any conversations with you on Monday mornings.
33. You send soccer theme Christmas cards.
34. You actually know where Temecula is.
35. From November 15 on, you worry that you might get Bakersfield in State Cup draw.
36. You only have one kid in soccer and you only have one game today, but you are leaving at 8 AM and won't be home until 3 PM.
37. You hire a lawn service because you have no time on the weekends.
38. Two dads were watching their kids round of eight league cup game when a hearse and funeral procession passes by on the street bordering the field. The first father dropped to his knees, crossed himself, closed his eyes tightly and prayed earnestly. After he got back up, the other father said, "Wow I didn't realize you were so devout. That was the kindest gesture I've ever seen. "Well" said the first father; "I was married to her for fifteen years."
1. You have owned every style of camping chair ever made.
2. You have never met a linesman that knows how to call off-sides properly.
3. Your kid takes a bloody wallop on the nose, and your first thought is that he/she needs to quit crying or be subbed because we're running out of time in the game.
4. You know where every elementary school, jr. high, high school, college and park with a soccer field is in the bay area and you know where the closest Starbucks, bagel shop and Subway is to each of those fields
5. You know how to get to all of the above without getting lost
6. Your gas credit card bills are bigger than your 2nd mortgage
7. All of your vacation time is taken up by soccer events. No more beach vacations, unless your team gets invited to Surf Cup. No more ski vacations ever again!
8. You know the closest grocery store to the practice fields because that is where you do your shopping
9. You have seen all kinds of movies between tournament games that you would have never watched otherwise.
10. There are posters of Englishmen and Brazilians in your house
11. You've forgotten where you go to church.
12. Your child's "good shoes" are his newest soccer cleats
13. You and your spouse spend all weekend driving to soccer games in different cars, in different counties, with different kids. And talk on the cell phone only to compare scores. And don't see each other until Sunday night.
14. You are happy to spend $140 on soccer cleats, but are appalled when the materials for your child's science fair project cost $45.
15. The kids on your team are 'feisty', while the kids on the opposing team are 'dirty'.
16. The mats on your car's rear floor are never free of dried grass and black turf pebbles.
17. You as soccer parents have a strict rule about "no removing shin guards inside of the car “Phew”
18. You look forward to Monday so that you can go back to work/school and relax.
19. You have not celebrated your anniversary for 3 years because it always falls on a practice or game day.
20. You own a 2-year-old SUV with 182,000 original miles.
21. On the rare weekend when your child does not have a game you look for something soccer related to do like going to the games of your friend's children.
22. You begin to use words like football, pitch, boots, sides, fixtures and tables in a way that totally befuddles your non-soccer friends and family
23. Your closest friends are those that you've met through soccer.
24. You can recognize the most national team jerseys and the majority of major European club jerseys on sight
25. You go from an 8 to a 22 handicap in four years and you have not been invited to a golf scramble in the last two years because everyone knows you got no game anymore!!
26. While watching the documentary "Supersize Me", you and the wife realize you have come close to duplicating that diet during consecutive weekends with tournaments.
27. When you receive at least three copies of the "Eurosport" catalogue in the mail each week.
28. When you wish you had bought stock in igloo because you own every shape & size of cooler and water bottle.
29. When someone asks you how old your child is, you respond, "She's U10"
30. You drive home from the game complaining bitterly about the condition of the field and its adverse effect on your kid's game only to pull into your driveway and have your spouse point out the 14 inch high grass which has not been mowed in 2 weeks.
31. You talk about "the Oaks" like it's your country club.
32. Your co-workers avoid having any conversations with you on Monday mornings.
33. You send soccer theme Christmas cards.
34. You actually know where Temecula is.
35. From November 15 on, you worry that you might get Bakersfield in State Cup draw.
36. You only have one kid in soccer and you only have one game today, but you are leaving at 8 AM and won't be home until 3 PM.
37. You hire a lawn service because you have no time on the weekends.
38. Two dads were watching their kids round of eight league cup game when a hearse and funeral procession passes by on the street bordering the field. The first father dropped to his knees, crossed himself, closed his eyes tightly and prayed earnestly. After he got back up, the other father said, "Wow I didn't realize you were so devout. That was the kindest gesture I've ever seen. "Well" said the first father; "I was married to her for fifteen years."
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