南山松

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周末一笑:不用找了(转载)

(2016-08-12 15:57:01) 下一个

1 不用找了/Keep the Change

One sweltering day, I was scooping ice cream into cones and told my four children they could "buy" a cone from me for a hug. Almost immediately, the kids lined up to make their purchases. The three youngest each gave me a quick hug, grabbed their cones and raced back outside. But when my teenage son at the end of the line finally got his turn to "buy" his ice cream, he gave me two hugs. "Keep the changes," he said with a smile.

有一天天气闷热，我把冰淇淋舀进锥筒，告诉我的四个小孩，他们可以从我这里用拥抱“购买”一筒。几乎马上孩子们就排起了队来购买。较小的三个孩子每人很快地抱了我一下，抓过冰淇淋筒就跑到外面去了。但最终轮到排在队尾已是青少年的大儿子来“买”冰淇淋时，他拥抱了我两下。“不用找了，”他笑着说。

2 追星族/Starstruck

I have been starstruck since I was a little girl, so I was delighted and practically speechless not long ago when I spotted the actor Ernest Borgnine walking in my direction on New York's Fifth Avenue. "Why, you're Ernest Borgnine!" I managed to blurt out. "Yes," he said, nodding politely, "I know."

自从我是一个小女孩时就是个追星族，因此不久以前当我在纽约第五大街上认出演员欧内斯特·博格宁向我迎面走过来时，我欣喜若狂，完全不知该说什么好。“怎么，你是厄内斯特.波格尼!”我想法迸出一句话来。“是的，”他很有礼貌地点了点头，说道：“我知道。”

3 缠住不放/Persistence

Returning from a golf outing, my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter.

"Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?"

"Uncle Richie and I don't play golf to win," my husband hedged. "We just play to have fun."

Undaunted, Sara said, "Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?"

丈夫打完高尔夫球回来，我们四岁的女儿莎拉在门口迎了上去。

“爸爸，谁赢了高尔夫球比赛，是你还是里奇叔叔？”

“我和里奇叔叔打高尔夫球不是为赢，”丈夫推诿说。“我们打球只是为了好玩而已。”

莎拉毫不气馁，又问：“那么，爸爸，谁觉得更好玩呢？”

4 款待/Treat

As a rookie in the Atlantic City, N.J., Police department, I was assigned a beat on the boardwalk. Hardly a day went by when I didn't come upon a child who had become separated from his parents.

One afternoon, I spotted a small boy standing alone, obviously lost. I tried to gain his confidence - I took him to the nearest ice-cream stand and bought him a cone. Time passed with no sign of the boy's parents, so the next step was to call for a patrol car to take him to headquarters. I told the small fry to stay put while I went to the call box. When I returned, he was nowhere in sight.

Within minutes, the car arrived, and one of the patrolmen asked me where the child was. I felt stupid; it's humiliating to say you've lost a lost child. But I told the officers what had happened and gave a description of the boy.

"What did you treat him?" asked one of the men.

"An ice-cream cone. Why?"

"Because," answered the officer, "that kid lives only a few blocks from here, and you've about the fifth rookie he's conned for a treat!"

我是新泽西州大西洋城警察局的一名新警察。我被指派巡逻一条海滨的路线，几乎每天都能碰上与父母走散的孩子。

一天下午，我发现一个小孩独自站在那里，显然是迷了路。我先是设法取得他的信任－我带他到附近的冰淇淋摊给他买了一个蛋筒。过了很长时间，也没看见他父母的影子，所以我就准备打电话叫辆巡逻车将他送回总部去。我告诉他站在那里别动，我去电话亭打电话。当我回来时，却发现他不知道到哪儿去了。

警车很快来了。一名警察问我小孩在哪里。我感觉自己傻极了，说自己弄丢了一个迷路的小孩，该多丢人啊！但我还是告诉了警察们所发生的一切，并描述了一下小孩的长相。

“你请他吃了什么？”一名警察问。

“一个冰淇淋蛋筒。怎么啦？”

“因为，”那名警察说，“那个小孩住的地方离这儿只隔几个街区。而你大概是被骗给他买东西吃的第五个菜鸟了！”

5 耐性/Patience

Angler: You've been watching me for three hours now. Why don't you try yourself?

Onlooker: I haven't got the patience.

垂钓者：现在你已经盯着看了三个小时了，你干嘛不自己亲自钓呢？

旁观者：我没那耐性。

6 世界上最伟大的击剑手/The World's Greatest Swordsman

At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman. His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile.

"Why are you so happy?" someone yelled. "You missed!"

"Ah," replied the swordsman, "you weren't watching very carefully. The fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father."

在一场世界最佳击剑手表演中，排名第三的击剑手上场了。一只苍蝇放了出来，剑划了一个弧，他将苍蝇劈成了两半。观众欢呼起来。紧接着排名第二的人将一只苍蝇切成了四半。现场一阵沉默，人们期盼着世界上最伟大的击剑手出场。他的剑锋以一个巨大的弧线划了下来－－然而那只昆虫还在继续飞行! 观众被惊呆了。最伟大的击剑手完全错过了他的目标，然而他还在微笑着。

“你为什么这么高兴？”有人嚷道，“你没击中!”

“啊，”剑手答道，“你刚才没有很仔细地看。苍蝇还活着，是的－－但他永远也做不成爸爸了。”

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