【原创英文诗翻译】《爱与惧的小船》（承载着你的痛）王玥星

《爱与惧的小船》（承载着你的痛）

原文作者与翻译：王玥星

我的每一条思绪

都有过完整的一生

我的每一条思绪

都是个鲜活的灵魂

它们生命的开始与结束

都由你诞生由你而逝去


我从未真正体验过

如此的快乐

荡漾过了我体内的

每一粒细胞

每一粒都绽放出了

一海洋的野花

[一粒都生长出了]

一海洋的生命

[如此]欢快，狂野，与自由


直到我认识了你的眼睛

直到我认识了你的微笑


当你突然闯入我的存在

我不仅突然间看到了光

还感受到了它的愤怒（疯狂）

感受到它永恒的温暖

感受到它确实的存在

仅仅与你站在距离中

让它吞噬我

让它用它那

隐形的双臂紧拥住我

并渗入我的体内

将我化作了一个

只载有爱与惧的小船


我一生都在疑问

疑问如何被人接受

[我随时都在疑问]

疑问如何无所畏惧

疑问如何才能够找到爱

并一直以为我需要答案


可我看到你那一瞬

之后每一瞬

只要你在我的眸中

我终于突然

完全忘了如何畏惧

[我终于忘了]

如何不让快乐闯入

甚至我的存在

没了， 烦恼， 与眼泪


只可惜很快黑暗降临了

[很快我就得来了失去]


你的存在带来的那一切

你的离开又随之带走了

当你转过身走开以后

快乐也跟着你[离开了]

然而光芒也紧随其后

还有我不眠夜里的梦

人生的梦想

[生活的希望]

只留下那无星无梦的 (黑暗)

将我与灵魂撕裂

将我的每个细胞

一个一个的分解开来


随着那难以忍耐

也随着那令人窒息

那撕裂中的痛苦

一粒一粒的将它们

甩进了那无爱的死寂的

那无意义的存在的深渊


我享受着每一丝撕裂的阵痛

并忍耐着每一粒最终的死亡

为这种永恒的痛苦而欢欣鼓舞

因我因此知道我的爱真实永久


在最后 希望不会有最后

如果我 永远都不能爱你

我只愿你曾献给我的

这灼热与愤然的快乐

而永远不用体会

哪怕是仅是一分钟一秒钟

这丢失你的煎熬

就算要我为你永远的承受

 

 

Vessel of Love and Fear (Carrying Your Pain)


My every thought had a life

My every thought was a living soul

Whose very birth and death begin and end

With the existence of you


I have never truly felt such joy

Rippling through every atom within me

Each blooming into a sea of wildflowers

A sea of every living thing

Playful, wild and free

Until I've met your eyes

Until I've met your smile


When you rushed into my presence

I've not just suddenly seen the light

But felt its wrath

Felt its everlasting warmth

Felt its very presence

Merely standing distances away from

You

Letting it consume me

Letting it wrap its invisible arms around me

Seep through my being

And transform me into a

Vessel carrying only love and fear


I've been asking questions all my life

Asking to be accepted

Asking to be fearless

Asking to be loved

And thought I needed answers


Yet the moment I saw you

And every moment when you were

Within my sight

I've readily forgot how to fear

How not to let happiness through

I've even forgot my own existence

Let alone its troubles and tears


And then, came the darkness:

What you have brought with

Your presence

You've taken them with you with

Your absence

And as you turned your back and

Walked away

The joy followed you

Then the light

Then my very dream of sleepless nights

My very dream of living

Until only the dreamless, the starless

Were left

To tear me away from my own soul

To break apart my every living particle

And along with the unbearable and breathless

Pain of its tearing, hurl each of them

One by one, into the abyss

Of loveless silence

And pointless existence


I've savored the twinge of its tearing

Endure the pain of its death

And rejoiced at this everlasting suffering

Knowing my love for you is true and endless


In the end, may it never end,

If I were to never love you

I'd only wish upon you

The heat and wrath of this joy

You've once gifted to me

And never, for a moment

Feel this pain, and suffering of your

Absence

Even, if I'd have to endure them

Eternally

For you