情人节怪论——亲情绝不是爱情！

情人节很多朋友都会若有所思的感慨一番，自然最多的还是对爱情的渴望、向往和追求了。有人就提出了“爱情”的最高境界，一定就是升华到了“亲情”。乍听起来此言似乎不无道理，也还算是合情，但绝不合理！

很多人认为“一段健康的婚姻和良好的亲密关系当中，一定要具备三个要素：亲情，友情和激情。不仅要有亲人般的依赖与安全感，还要有朋友般的信任与默契，最重要的是要有情人般的激情！……”为什么是情人般的“激情”，而不是爱情呢？或许就是这一字之差成就的我的这篇文章。与此同时接下来我听到最多的就是，我们之间的感觉就像是左手摸右手一样……！请三思这句话意味的是什么？

恕我直言，三个要素的第一个就不对。所谓的“亲情”一般应该定义是有血缘关系的人、血缘最接近人之间的感情。通常“亲情”被定义是父母，兄弟姊妹和子女之间的感情，这些才是真正意义上的亲情。（有时也会被特指亲密、感情深厚的人之间超越了友情、但这一定又是有区别于爱情的情义，是不可替代、不可等同的。）我相信那仅仅只能算是有所特指意义上的“亲情”罢了！因为血永远浓于水的才是亲情！

至于夫妻之间，也仅仅只能算是根本就没有血缘关系男女之间所谓的“儿女情长”！如果一对夫妻要是把他们之间的感情都活成了“亲情”，那未免也太现实了！从理论和逻辑上分析又怎么可能？！没有血缘关系哪里又会有亲情可言！是冠冕堂皇的自欺欺人，还是道貌岸然的不打自招？！这种感觉的真实性，有待我们进一步验证！

因为亲情不是爱情！从理论上、从伦理道德上、从生物学的定义上都是不可能做到的。那也只不过是人们的一种借口或是说词罢了！真可谓是“激情”过后已再无“爱情”可言，换作“亲情”欺人骗己而已！前面讲过在夫妻之间的三条里，没有一条谈及爱情的，谁还相信他们之间的感情会是相濡以沫可以白头偕老？我好想知道，作为一个正常的男人、女人，在他们之间不谈爱情，只谈亲情、友情，那“激情”又算是个什么东西？难道就是升华了爱情的亲情？那又怎么可能有在一起“滚床单”的激情？这岂不是骗人的谎话吗？

其实，从生理学定义的角度来看一言以蔽之是假的欲盖弥彰！（因为没有血缘关系，就不可能有亲情存在）这或许仅仅只是人们的一种美好愿望而已！而且还是在男女之间“神秘”情感交流过后，也已再无任何任何秘密探索可言了。简而言之，就是激情过后，对自己的伴侣再也没有任何所求（激情）之后的美其名曰-将“爱情”升华成为了“亲情”！完完全全是谎言，此时此刻一旦有异性的无意介入，必然会导致她/他们又从新燃起了激情（所谓的爱情第三者）。

若把夫妻关系活到了这份上，是件非常恐怖和可悲的事情！爱情绝不是亲情！仅仅只有亲情的夫妻双方是不可能再有“激情”四射的魅力了！请记住你们身边的人，是谁这样形容过自己婚姻的伴侣和生活。又是谁说过这样的话…….。或许，他们的婚姻生活已然在不经意间发生了些许的变化！……但我仍然衷心的希望天下有情人终成眷属，并白头偕老不离不弃以享天年！……

（感谢阅读欣赏和留言评论）

[diaowm]

有血缘关系的亲人之间不一定就有亲情。亲人之间反目成仇的例子比比皆是。
至于那些没有爱情的夫妻硬是说还有亲情就是自欺欺人了。没有血缘关系的男女之间没有了爱情就是陌生人，只是因为双方有某种需要才在一起生活。这些需求一旦不存在了，婚姻也就失去维系力了。

[睿智与弱智]

回复 'elfie' 的评论 : Thank you for reading and leaving a message, especially your sharing does have your own unique insights. Because your life environment experience and experience determine how you should live. For a family, it doesn't matter whether the husband and wife can grow old together. That's what I want to say: love can be terminated at any time, but family affection is a lifetime. Whether you admit it or not, the relationship between you is Objective facts. Whether men or women need love, in the different experiences of each of us in life, parents and elders may leave real life and go to the world of bliss earlier than their children. This is a fact or natural law that everyone must accept! No one can find or recognize a parent again, because you no longer need this kind of care when you grow up! This is determined by blood relationship. Blood relationship still cannot be copied and transferred, and some are passed down from generation to generation. However, the relationship between husband and wife is very different. As long as you are willing, you can repeat endlessly, get married, divorce, get married and divorce... Maybe your point of view is not wrong, but blood thicker than water is always family affection! Whether you admit it or not, in fact, you don't need to admit it at all! You can't stop your subjective consciousness, but love is not! Thank you for reading and sharing your message. I wish you happy every day!

[睿智与弱智]

回复 'elfie' 的评论 : 感谢你的阅读和留言，特别是你的分享确实有着自己独特的见解。因为你的生活环境经历和阅历决定了你该如何去生活，对于一个家庭来说，是否夫妻两人可以白头偕老，都无关紧要，这也就是我要说的：爱情可以随时终止，但亲情却是一生一世，无论你承认与否，你们之间的关系怎样，都是客观存在的事实。无论男人女人都需要爱情，在我们每个人生的不同经历中，父母长辈或许会早于子女离开现实生活去到极乐世界，这是每个人都必须要接受的事实或是自然规律！无论是谁都绝不可能再去找或认一个父母来，因为你长大成人了不再需要这种呵护了！这是血缘关系决定的，血缘关系现在还是无法复制和转移的，有也是父子子孙代代相传而已。然而夫妻关系则大相径庭，只要你愿意可以无止境的重复，结婚离婚再结婚离婚......。或许你的观点并没有错，但是血浓于水的永远是亲情！无论你承认与否，其实，也根本就无需你承认！亲情是你无法主观意识停止的，而爱情则不然了！谢谢你的阅读及留言分享，祝你开心快乐每一天！

[睿智与弱智]

回复 '秒秒' 的评论 : 你可以有一大堆的范本实例来证明，你所说的一切都符合你的观点。但是所有的这些又必须要符合科学和逻辑推理及事实。因为所谓的“亲情”就是血缘关系的关系，是可以通过物理手段检测到，也是生物学意义上的毋庸置疑的。至于遇到困难了谁来帮助过你，即使是父母不帮你，他们依然还是你的父母。你不可能也不会仅此而已不承认他们是你的父母，即使你不承认他们也还依然是你的父母。婚姻里的他/她帮你是天经地义，理所当然的。帮了你也有不了血缘关系，只有爱情而还是没有亲情。亲情是你无法改变的，而爱情你则可以随时终止！感谢你阅读留言分享，祝你开心快乐

[睿智与弱智]

回复 '雪中梅' 的评论 : 感谢阅读欣赏和留言祝福，也祝你开心快乐每一天！

[睿智与弱智]

回复 'FollowNature' 的评论 : 感谢阅读欣赏和留言，知道你是认同我的观点了。有时候实话未见得好听，更是会耐人寻味。祝你愉快！

[魅力野花]

爱情绝不是亲情!

[雪中梅]

欣赏了，平安是福。

[秒秒]

我就知道最困难的时候谁帮助我。谁就是我的亲人。
事实证明什么同事朋友兄弟都不是。只有婚姻关系。

[elfie]

I don't love my husband, neither does he love me, but I do respect him as my children's father, and he respects me as their mother. It's an iron triangle or pentagon: three children, two parents, and a life contract.
It's totally fine to live this way. We have 100% trust in our partnership
with no more sex involved. We pull our duties to raise up children, to maintain the household, or just to live an everyday life. Maybe you don't get this, because you have had a different experience. Blood relationships are weaker compared with this kind of relationship we have as a core family, because we have the same burden to share. You can't get out of the yolk of marriage easily if you value your own family. We don't have elderly parents and other relatives living together or close by. So it's all depending on our own resolve to survive and thrive. No grandmas, uncles, aunts, cousins or siblings. That kind of relationship has been downgraded to nothing in this American life we live.

[elfie]

Chinese people like to overvalue blood relationships, so your uncle and nephews are more important to you than your spouse.
The fact is this kind of agricultural society is gone. You no longer have anything to do with your siblings, uncles and aunts when you grow up.
The most important people are from your core family, i.e. your spouse and children. Having intimacy or passion or not isn't important either.
It is true that your relationship with your spouse is above and beyond love and
sex. It's more like a partnership for livelihood and welfare. You guys share the common assets, properties and obligations to each other.
What is more long lasting? Passion or a serious commitment for a long term contract? Marriage is a social contract in essence. You keep it till death does you apart, or your free will. You don't even need to love the other party to honor that contract, like you don't need to love your employer or your job.

[FollowNature]

你咋这么爱讲实话呢？