朋友如镜（友情惠赠）

(感谢lindows友情惠赠！)

友情与爱情，是滋润人生的两道明丽的光。相对而言，爱情在心灵纵深处流转脉动，友情在山高水长处舒蔓展枝。

歌颂友情的文字，大多以比喻的形式出现：朋友如珍珠，在时光的河中孕育得越久越美丽；朋友如酒，越陈越香；朋友如书，助你面对苦难，不再孤独；朋友如月，与其相处浴满清辉，宁馨欢愉；朋友如歌，朋友如伞，朋友如……这些形象的比喻，让人们懂得：朋友是人生重要的精神财富，值得珍视一生。然而应该交怎样的朋友，却是大有讲究。有人认为要交与己声气相投的，容易谈到一块儿去。有人喜欢在性格相异者中寻友，能够互补。当然，更多的人想交能为自己两肋插刀的。这些似乎只是交友的趋向，理解起来也比较抽象。印象深的是一位老者，他简明形象地说明了自己的交友之道，那是一个哲理故事，也是一则生活小品。

说的是南朝时期一个姓沈的人，一日正下棋，有人走过来，说沈脚上穿的靴子是他的。沈说：“哦，是你的么？”于是头也没抬，脱下给了那人。过了几个时辰，那人又把靴子送回来，说弄错了，不是他的。沈说：“不是你的？”接过靴子穿上，继续下他的棋。文友发掘故事的含义：这个人得意忘言，且能大度宽容，这种人或许当今也有，要留意周围，若发现的话，与这种人交友，必定受益。

能受何益？老者没说，给听者留下了思考的余地。我想，所谓的受益，并不一定是指交了这类朋友，会在物质上得到他多大的好处，也不一定指望他会条分缕析，鞭辟入里，给你直接注入什么精神营养，以获得高深的启迪。受益之处，许是在与这类朋友交往中的感同身受，是一种熏陶，是一份领悟。

他的得意忘言，不正是一种对自己喜欢的事物的专注与投入吗？那么，被这专注的光辉沐浴，我们何愁不会心平气和，放弃浮躁，做自己该做的、自己能做的事情？他的大度宽容，犹如那滔滔江河之水澎湃而来，那么，这不正可为我们打开宽广的视野，荡开心胸，一步步走向风云际会的人生新境界？

如此说来，是不是可以丰富关于朋友的形象，加一个这样的比喻：朋友如镜！

[melly]

回复blhw72的评论:

Helen,

I am with you. Blind forgiveness is a poison in relationships. Everything has a limitation. So does forgiveness.

[blhw72]

回复melly的评论: True, forgiveness maintains and safeguards a relatioship. I appreciate what he presented and offered when the person returned his shoes.

However, I don't understand the beginning part. Think about his: if the person said:' you killed sb", Shen responded"oh, really?' so he put himself in jain, till the person found out he was wrong, then got out of the jail?

I guess, a relationship is a mutual responsibility. One side offers blind forgivenss doesn't necessarily nuturn it. It should be reasonable.

[melly]

回复blhw72的评论:
Well, shen's story told me that one should be forgiving and provide what his/her friends need whenever one is able to. It may work for some people, not all. To me, matching is the most important. Like in a marriage, friendship also requires the adjustment of both sides.

[blhw72]

Melly, I am not sure if I agree with the "SHEN". To me, he doesn't have a principle of standing for himself.

In today's world, if you expect others to wake up on their own, which is actually great, most of time, it won't work that way. And it requires the person who should wake up also have a level of spirits and mind.

Perhaps I am too black and white. To friends, being frank and honest is my bottom of line to value a friendship. If it is a shortcut to wake him/her up, I'll speak it out.