在一个地方工作已十多年，由于内部调整，或领导调换，我共有过九个直接领导。有人退休，或换工作，已不在一个办公楼工作了。象许多人说的那样：Out of sight, out of mind。我没有留恋过什么人，大家一起一个gruop lunch，就各奔东西了。
一个办公室里另外一个组的头mike是个从伊朗来的中年人。因为他高中毕业就来美，语言上没有任何障碍。他工作认真，肯钻研，加上有近二十年的工作经验，上上下下的人都愿向他问问题，他无论多忙，总是耐心解答所有人的疑问。在一起工作，难免有人欣赏，有人反感。但他却是个没人说出个不字的人。
在我考执照前，他总是鼓励我认真复习，准备好了肯定过。因那时他不是我的直接领导，我和他交往不多，他跟我透露若我考过，他想调我去他那组工作，因为有了那组的工作经验对我今后发展有好处。
没想到在我考过，他调我去他那工作过程中出了差错，他的领导David认为我的语言不过关，背景不强，去那工作我会压力太大,我的直接领导和他的领导都不同意。Mike开始了为我调动成功的上下游说，他对David保证我能干好这个工作。由于他的坚持不懈，我终于到了他的手下工作，同时有了我职场中最重要的提升。过后他跟我说：因为你不能说perfect english而失去这个机会对你是不公平的。我深深知道，能够成功，不是因为David相信我能干好工作，而是Mike的威望和坚持，David 不愿得罪Mike,这里需要Mike。
和Mike工作的那几个月是在愉快之中度过的，每天去办公室都愿先去跟Mike说Good Morning，然后开始一天的工作，真正体会到干喜欢的工作是人生一大乐事。
好景不长，一天Mike跟我说他要走了，我大吃一惊，问:Are you serious?他说是的。然后我跟他到了他的办公室，关上门，他告诉我ABC Tech咨询公司给了他很好的offer，比他当医生的太太工资还高，他也喜欢去尝试一下。他接着跟我说，公司run 一个大尺度模式要xxxxx刀，掌握了大尺度模式和相关的知识，我也会“钱途无量”。想到他马上要走，还关心着我，我的鼻子有些发酸，嘴上还打着哈哈: “过去是你检查我的工作，现在该我检查你的工作了。”
我相信他对所有的手下人员都是爱护有加，我的不同是，我是唯一的中国人，唯一的女性。
他走后，有一次我干的项目是他手下一个人做的。因有些疑问，我们要开会讨论，我一提问，那个瘦瘦高高的美国美眉就向他投去求助的目光。可以想象，他在新地方的威望也不低。
现在因工作有时还会在办公室碰面，我总是怀着忐忑不安的心，一是因为我没有象他所期望的掌握好知识去咨询公司闯去，二是因为我总认为我也没象他所期望的成为这里的“大拿”，还有一些说不出的惆怅......
不知这是不是第四种感情，想到在我人生道路上帮助过我的人，他也是其中之一。他是永远不会看到这些的，在这个静靡的夏夜，写出来同时送去我对他和他家人深深的祝福！
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| • 先给俺付息一下前三种感情是啥：） -sjmj2a- ♂   (0 bytes) (3 reads) 8/27/07 |
| • 堕入那啥啥网。 鉴定完毕：） -老别- ♂  (0 bytes) (3 reads) 8/27/07 |
| • 先给俺付息一下前三种感情是啥：） -sjmj2a- ♂ -水儿~- ♀ (0 bytes) (5 reads) 8/27/07 |
| • 先顶了再读 -上学前班了- ♀ (0 bytes) (2 reads) 8/27/07 |
| • 是不是划为第五种感情比较合适？ -南木香- ♂ (174 bytes) (43 reads) 8/27/07 欣赏信任一个人，ta刚好是异性 与第四种相比 暧昧度较低—————————————————— 罪过罪过 在诸人生前辈大师前多嘴了 |
| • 我觉得是第8种。 -heka- ♀ (0 bytes) (3 reads) 8/27/07 |
| • 工作中碰上个好领导是你的福！ -桂花雨- ♀ (0 bytes) (3 reads) 8/27/07 |
| • LUCK -新新农民- ♂ (0 bytes) (2 reads) 8/27/07 |
| • 对你没有非分之想而只肯帮你的男人，难得：D -kwx- (0 bytes) (5 reads) 8/27/07 |
| • 对你没有非分之想而只肯帮你的男人太多了，：D -水儿~- ♀ (52 bytes) (43 reads) 8/27/07 |
| • 功力见长~~ -潜潜潜- ♂ (0 bytes) (1 reads) 8/27/07 |
| • 这算知遇之恩吧?虽说在这什么都淡,可对在关键时刻扶持过自己的人还是 -玫瑰也疯狂- ♀ (13 bytes) (33 reads) 8/27/07 |
| • 好人。要是能看到他的内心独白就更好了~~~ -潜潜潜- ♂ (43 bytes) (14 reads) 8/27/07 估计类似于老别，自己把自己扛上去了，苦笑~~~ |
| • 知遇之恩，这是你的好运... -五味七色- ♀ (0 bytes) (2 reads) 8/27/07 |
| • 你是一個知恩又會感恩的人﹐像你這樣的人---前途無量﹗頂你。 -成长- ♀ (0 bytes) (1 reads) 8/27/07 |
| • 我咋也觉得我们有过相似地。。。。哈，哈 -青春无限- ♀ (0 bytes) (3 reads) 8/27/07 |
| • 前途无量，你也一定是很出色，不然他能那么坚持把你调过去 -包子脸- ♀ (0 bytes) (1 reads) 8/27/07 |
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The Unforgettable "fourth Feeling" *
August 26, 2007
I always thought that I don't have any feeling at work place. That was no gender, only supervisors/administrators (boss) and co-workers; hard working people and trying to kill time guys; people with good personalities and those shortcomings. I like this kind of simple relationship until I heard about the "fourth Feeling". All of sudden, I recognize that we do have feeling at office, no matter it was intentionally or unintentionally.
I have been working at the same office for over ten years. I have total nine supervisors because of the job changes or retirement. Most of them are not working in the same building with me. I did not think about any one, like people said: out of sight, out of mind. There was a group lunch together and every one went to their destines.
Mike, a supervisor working at another branch, was a middle-aged guy who came from
Before I took my license exam, he came to my office several times and encouraged me to prepare thoroughly and it would easy to pass. I did not have many contacts with him since he was not my direct supervisor. He told me that he would like to move me to his group after I past the exam because it would benefit my future if I had the working experience at his group.
I never thought it would be a problem moving to his branch but it happened. His boss, David, thought that it would be too stressful for me to work there since I did not have a strong background and my English was not good enough for the work. Mike stared worked with everyone to make my move success. He promised to David that I would definitely do a good job. Finally, I got the chance to work at Mike's branch and in the mean time, I got the most important promotion in my career. Later, Mike said that it was not fair for me to loss this opportunity just because I could not speak excellent English. I understood totally that the reason I could work with Mike not because David believed I could do a good job, but because of Mike's persistent and good reputation. David did not want to make Mike upset, David needed mike here.
It was the most wonderful time working with Mike. I liked to say "Good Morning" to Mike every morning before I stared a day's work. I absolutely felt that doing something enjoyable is the best thing in our life.
But, good things always past by quickly. One day, Mike told me that he was leaving. I was shocked: are you serious? He said yes. At his office, he told me that ABC Tech Co. gave him a very good offer and he would like to try something new too. He also said that running a large-scale model would cost a company thousands and I would have very good opportunities if I manage large-scale modeling. I was touched and had tears in my eyes since he still thought about my career at the time he was leaving, but I just laughed with him: you used to review my work and I will review your work from now on... haha....
I believe he cared about everyone in his branch. The only difference was that I was the only Chinese and only female.
Once, I was reviewing a project, which was conducted by a girl working in his new office. We had a meeting to discuss about some details of the project. Whenever I asked a question, the tall, pretty girl would like to look at Mike for his help. I could tell that he was very popular at the new job too. There was no surprise because his previous co-workers felt very bad to see him leaving when he started working at our office.
Once a while, I could see him at the office build. I always felt excited and a lit bit uneasy. One reason was because I did not master the work and seeking a better future at consulting firms. I also though that I did not become the expert at work as he expected. And, I felt some what emotionally attached...
I don't know if it is the "fourth feeling". Thinking all the people who helped me during the past, he was one of them. He will never see this. At this quiet summer night, put all of my thoughts into words and in the mean time send my best wished to him and his family!
* The first three feelings are: love between family members, love with lovers, and friendship.
Learning English is as important as Sex Education
Thinking carefully about why this happened, I learned the following reasons:
- Did not know enough slang;
- Did not date before and did not know guys in details. Did not understand the “meaning” of their words;
- Did not know that buys like to joke about it from their deep inside.
Here is the story.
I knew nothing about American slang over ten years ago when I came to U.S. We used to use cork all the time in the lab. But, I couldn’t pronounce cork correctly. Instead, I pronounced it “cock”. In English-Chinese dictionary, cock means male chicken. In American slang, it means Guy’s thing.
All the people in our lab were guys except me. I was 21 and just graduated from college in China. I hadn’t dated and only had a short period of crash. During graduate school, all the young people spent long hours at the lab. Everyone was pretty casual; not like working in the companies, which have very strict rules and everyone is serious.
One day, I needed a vacuum cork and couldn’t find the right sized one. I asked my husband (he was 22 and we were pure lab mates): May I borrow your “cock”?
He smiled, but understood my meaning. He was going to pass it to me and the white guy said: Why don’t you like mine? Mine is bigger.
He smiled to my husband with his eyes winked and throw a big one to me.
I tried and said: Your is too big, doesn’t fit! Then asked my husband: I still want yours. He smiled and gave this to me.
The white guy said: “So you like smaller ones, huh? Usually the bigger, the better!”
I said: That’s not true. It has to fit. If it were not fully vacuumed, the lab results would not be good. It is just because the “cock” it too big or too small. The white guy continued: Then his “cock” just fits well?
My husband stopped him: Shut up!
I said: Still a little bit too big. But it should be fine if I use vacuum grease. The white guy said seriously:”oh, yeh, al-way-s use lubricant! But let him do it, he is very experienced, and it is man’s job.” He pointed my husband to me.
Watching the two guys laughing so hard, I said: ”No. I can do it. I like doing most of things by myself unless I really need help (That ‘s my Mom tough me, do everything yourself).”
Then the white guy moved his blue eyes, said:” hmn, you are a feminist, enjoy dominating the process!”
My husband already laughed and couldn’t stand straight up. He held the counter top, told the white guy: Can you just stop here, P-L-S?
I felt it was a little bit strange and asked him why they laughed.
He said: This is called cork, not cock.
I suppose to stop here. But, I felt a little bit embarrassed and knew my pronunciation was wrong. I said: Actually, I knew the meaning of “cock”. My husband and the white guy were stunted. I should stop, it would be perfect.
But, I kept on going:”Cock means male bird.” I didn’t know the other meanings of cock besides “male bird”. Then the white guy asked: What male bird?
I said: hey, you are so innocent, that’s hen’s husband.
My husband pretended pointing a gun to his head,”bang!!”, meant that he wanted to kill himself after heard what I said. Ding,ding,ding!!!
How horrible, I even hadn’t started dating him yet back then.
• 谢谢! -Mom3- ♀ (0 bytes) (2 reads) 1/4/08
• he has the true leadership -传真- ♀ (0 bytes) (4 reads) 1/4/08
• 难得的好人！俺运气不好，他走了.. -Mom3- ♀ (0 bytes) (2 reads) 1/4/08
• 这么好的工作关系，走了真可惜 -云耳- ♀ (0 bytes) (2 reads) 1/5/08
• 唉！生活中没有十全十美吧。 -Mom3- ♀ (0 bytes) (0 reads) 1/5/08
• 写得很好，职场上也经常可以遇到很好的朋友 -龙坡居士- ♂ (0 bytes) (5 reads) 9/10/07
• 所以让我念念不忘！不好的也有，只想好的。 -Mom3- ♀ (0 bytes) (4 reads) 9/10/07
• 回复：所以让我念念不忘！不好的也有，只想好的。 -龙坡居士- ♂ (50 bytes) (42 reads) 9/10/07
• 回复：回复：所以让我念念不忘！不好的也有，只想好的。 -Mom3- ♀ (34 bytes) (26 reads) 9/10/07
• 同感,所以有时候常会怀念这些人. -七月红袖- ♀ (0 bytes) (5 reads) 9/10/07
• 应该还是正常的上下级的同事之间的感情吧？何为第4种？ -五味七色- ♀ (0 bytes) (5 reads) 9/10/07
• 亲情，友情，爱情，这是友情？ -Mom3- ♀ (0 bytes) (6 reads) 9/10/07
• 不是友情还有啥情？（不是男女之情） -五味七色- ♀ (0 bytes) (5 reads) 9/10/07
• 不来往的，从未有过个人交往。不是男女之情. -Mom3- ♀ (0 bytes) (4 reads) 9/10/07
• 57，我刚在你的根据地奔过。 -Mom3- ♀ (0 bytes) (6 reads) 9/10/07
• 工作上能力见解接近的人惺惺相惜算感情吗？我倒也经历过 -无奈鸡肋- ♀ (580 bytes) (183 reads) 9/10/07
• 握手！高兴我们有相同的感受。 -Mom3- ♀ (0 bytes) (4 reads) 9/10/07
• 好的同事，如沐春风。 -卿- ♀
由于种种原因一直没跳槽，现在的工作也有一些优点。
新年快乐！
新年好！